Leadership 101: You Can't Lead Where You've Never Been
Leadership 101: You Can't Lead Where You've Never Been
Pathway Parenting Week 6 Recap
“If your kids don’t see it, they can’t be it.”
This simple truth captures the essence of biblical leadership, especially for parents. As believers, our goal for our children should align with God’s purpose: for them to bear His image and reflect His character. But merely setting that goal isn’t enough; we must walk the path that leads there—and not all paths do.
As we’ve discussed, the biblical path of parenthood is a journey parents themselves must walk. In Deuteronomy 6:6-9, God speaks directly to parents:
“These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.”
In other words, we cannot expect our children to live out God’s Word if they don’t see us living it out ourselves. If they can’t see it, they can’t be it. It's not enough to simply take them to Sunday School or Youth Group, hoping that someone else will teach them what it means to follow Christ. Church leaders may be able to help guide and instruct them for a couple of hours each week, but you are the one with them day in and day out. If we want our children to know the Word and live it, we must demonstrate it consistently—when we sit, walk, lie down, and rise up. Church leaders can’t do that for you. Only you can do that for your children.
Know the Word to Live the Word
But how can we demonstrate something we don’t truly know? If we want to raise children who follow the path of Christ, we as parents must first immerse ourselves in God’s Word. It’s not enough for the pastor, the Sunday School teacher, or the youth leader to know it—we must know it, and live it, so we can apply its wisdom in every situation we encounter as our children watch.
The stakes are high if we fail in this area. To illustrate this, let’s look at the story of Lot. Lot was a believer; he stuck with Abraham, the man to whom God revealed His promise. But Lot made a choice that led him away from both Abraham and God. He separated himself, choosing to live in Sodom and Gomorrah, where his life ended up looking no different from the wicked people around him.
When the time came for the Lord to destroy those cities, Lot tried to warn his family, but they didn’t believe him. His influence had waned, and even he had to be dragged out to avoid destruction. The result was devastating: Lot lost his wife, his sons-in-law, and his dignity, as his daughters later committed incest with him.
Reflecting on Lot’s story, Peter wrote that such failures to live out God’s Word “malign the truth” (2 Peter 2). Even though Lot was a believer, because he distanced himself from God’s Word and lived in a way that contradicted it, his family and his neighbors didn’t listen when he finally spoke of the Lord.
Peter’s point is relevant today: when believers fail to know and live out God’s Word, they, like Lot, can be led astray and malign the truth. And while they may still be saved, they risk making a wreck of their lives and leading others astray.
Abundantly Supplied vs. Barely Escaping
In contrast to Lot’s story, where he barely escaped judgment, Peter encourages believers to “be all the more diligent to make certain about His calling and choosing you” so that they may “abundantly enter the eternal kingdom” (2 Peter 1:10-11). His desire is that we, and our children, wouldn’t just barely escape judgment but that the Kingdom would be abundantly supplied to us—that we would be ushered in without the heat on our backs.
But how can our children reach that goal if they don’t see us living it? If we don’t know the Word, how can we expect them to embrace it? Worse, if we claim to believe God’s Word but don’t live out that belief, our children may want nothing to do with God at all. If we don’t believe it enough to live it, why should they make it the center of their life?
So What Should We Do?
Peter offers a clear roadmap:
“For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust. Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love” (2 Peter 1:4-7).
If we want to raise children who live useful lives for God, we must be diligent in our own pursuit of Him. It’s a daily commitment to grow in faith, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, kindness, and love. And as these qualities increase in us, we will neither be “useless nor unfruitful” in the work God has called us to—starting with our children.
The Role of the Church
While the responsibility lies with parents, the good news is that we’re not alone. God has given us pastors, teachers, and the church body to help us grow in our knowledge of the Word. But we must take ownership of our role as the primary spiritual leaders in our homes. Lean into the resources available, seek support, and live out your calling to represent the Lord to your children.
If we commit ourselves to knowing and living God’s Word, we’ll show our children a life worth emulating—a life abundantly supplied with the peace, wisdom, and love of Christ.
Reflection for the Week
This simple truth captures the essence of biblical leadership, especially for parents. As believers, our goal for our children should align with God’s purpose: for them to bear His image and reflect His character. But merely setting that goal isn’t enough; we must walk the path that leads there—and not all paths do.
As we’ve discussed, the biblical path of parenthood is a journey parents themselves must walk. In Deuteronomy 6:6-9, God speaks directly to parents:
“These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.”
In other words, we cannot expect our children to live out God’s Word if they don’t see us living it out ourselves. If they can’t see it, they can’t be it. It's not enough to simply take them to Sunday School or Youth Group, hoping that someone else will teach them what it means to follow Christ. Church leaders may be able to help guide and instruct them for a couple of hours each week, but you are the one with them day in and day out. If we want our children to know the Word and live it, we must demonstrate it consistently—when we sit, walk, lie down, and rise up. Church leaders can’t do that for you. Only you can do that for your children.
Know the Word to Live the Word
But how can we demonstrate something we don’t truly know? If we want to raise children who follow the path of Christ, we as parents must first immerse ourselves in God’s Word. It’s not enough for the pastor, the Sunday School teacher, or the youth leader to know it—we must know it, and live it, so we can apply its wisdom in every situation we encounter as our children watch.
The stakes are high if we fail in this area. To illustrate this, let’s look at the story of Lot. Lot was a believer; he stuck with Abraham, the man to whom God revealed His promise. But Lot made a choice that led him away from both Abraham and God. He separated himself, choosing to live in Sodom and Gomorrah, where his life ended up looking no different from the wicked people around him.
When the time came for the Lord to destroy those cities, Lot tried to warn his family, but they didn’t believe him. His influence had waned, and even he had to be dragged out to avoid destruction. The result was devastating: Lot lost his wife, his sons-in-law, and his dignity, as his daughters later committed incest with him.
Reflecting on Lot’s story, Peter wrote that such failures to live out God’s Word “malign the truth” (2 Peter 2). Even though Lot was a believer, because he distanced himself from God’s Word and lived in a way that contradicted it, his family and his neighbors didn’t listen when he finally spoke of the Lord.
Peter’s point is relevant today: when believers fail to know and live out God’s Word, they, like Lot, can be led astray and malign the truth. And while they may still be saved, they risk making a wreck of their lives and leading others astray.
Abundantly Supplied vs. Barely Escaping
In contrast to Lot’s story, where he barely escaped judgment, Peter encourages believers to “be all the more diligent to make certain about His calling and choosing you” so that they may “abundantly enter the eternal kingdom” (2 Peter 1:10-11). His desire is that we, and our children, wouldn’t just barely escape judgment but that the Kingdom would be abundantly supplied to us—that we would be ushered in without the heat on our backs.
But how can our children reach that goal if they don’t see us living it? If we don’t know the Word, how can we expect them to embrace it? Worse, if we claim to believe God’s Word but don’t live out that belief, our children may want nothing to do with God at all. If we don’t believe it enough to live it, why should they make it the center of their life?
So What Should We Do?
Peter offers a clear roadmap:
“For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust. Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge, and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness, and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love” (2 Peter 1:4-7).
If we want to raise children who live useful lives for God, we must be diligent in our own pursuit of Him. It’s a daily commitment to grow in faith, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, kindness, and love. And as these qualities increase in us, we will neither be “useless nor unfruitful” in the work God has called us to—starting with our children.
The Role of the Church
While the responsibility lies with parents, the good news is that we’re not alone. God has given us pastors, teachers, and the church body to help us grow in our knowledge of the Word. But we must take ownership of our role as the primary spiritual leaders in our homes. Lean into the resources available, seek support, and live out your calling to represent the Lord to your children.
If we commit ourselves to knowing and living God’s Word, we’ll show our children a life worth emulating—a life abundantly supplied with the peace, wisdom, and love of Christ.
Reflection for the Week
- Assess your own discipleship. Are you walking faithfully down the path you want your kids to walk down? Do you know the Word? What is keeping you from pursuing this yourself?
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